Global Mulligan

OK, if it gets hotter we win...starting...now! No wait...starting...NOW!! No hold on...wait...just a minute...star...ting...NOW NOW! No, seriously this time. NOW!

You've got to love it. A scientific theory that's right even when its wrong. Sure the world is heating up...we've all seen the hockey stick for goodness sake. But for some reason, the planet has the ability to cool itself down? Wait...where was that in Al Gore's movie? Must have been after the credits. During that photo montage of him and PETA euthanizing kittens.

Anywho, the world will cool for the next 10 years. But, don't be foolish enough to think that that means it isn't warming...because it is. And if we get more cooling after that 10 years? Well, we'll just have to adjust our numbers again because we all KNOW that the planet is warming...it just has to be. The Hockey Stick told us so.

And if this doesn't shake your faith in the warming theocracy well good for you...faith like that hasn't been seen since the last Christian was eaten by a lion.

Pandering

Bush knows that the science isn't with the global warming Chicken Littles. Climatology is an extremely young science and the adults of the scientific community have just started checking up on these kids. What they've found is a room littered with unsupportable theories and broken methodologies so full of holes study after study has to be thrown out. With the huge number of variables that go into any predictive climate algorithm it is silly that anyone would believe that human carbon emissions is the main driver of change. Why weren't these people stamping out butterflies when chaos theory argued our colorful little pals can be the cause of hurricanes? That would have made as much sense as pinning all climate variation (in the positive direction anyway) on fossil fuels. Buy anyway, back to pandering...

Bush seems to know this and he was right to ignore the silly Kyoto agreement which has proven to be even a bigger farce than the critics predicted it would be. So why this pretend, "we need to do something about global warming so how about..." speech? Pandering. Give the people what they want even if what they want is foolish. Its a shame when the mob must be appeased even though the mob is wrong. Of course that's the definition of populist. But if Bush ain't anything its a populist so why waste all our time? He probably is just trying to define a compromise position since the conversation has been dominated by the hysterical since its inception. But I still say that's wrong. If your friend is wrong about something, what good is achieved by becoming a little wrong yourself just so you can meet him halfway?

When One Head is Better Than 50

Continuing my trek through the Bizzaro World that is the modern two party system, I stumbled upon this quote from allegedly Republican President George Bush regarding how the US should deal with greenhouse gasses.

The question is how to have an effective strategy. Is it more effective to let each state make a decision as to how to proceed in curbing greenhouse gases? Or is it more effective to have a national strategy?

Funny, I thought Republican's believed that the Great American Experiment was having 50 states trying 50 things and seeing what works best. Yes, yes McGinty you're probably right. W was trying to help the GOP distance itself from that well known disgrace Ronald Reagan who famously catered to the KKK when he made a speech referencing "States Rights." Whew. Now that the GOP is in danger of losing the White House, I guess it makes sense to try to out Democrat (another slur) the Democrats and get as far as possible from the RR (Granted, some might say that W already took the long walk off that short pier). Talk about two hearts living in just one mind. Just one mind, just one mind. Good to know that the Republic is dead, long live whoever holds the keys to the Federal Offices. Well, unless you're not quite born, then its all about giving the States the right to choose (see below).

Honestly, I have no idea what's the right thing to do with these gasses. For all I know, maybe we need more of them. I mean, isn't everyone always complaining about the lack of gas in America? Maybe W has a crazy solution to both problems. However, if the good people of California want to ignore the mad genius that is W and desire a tougher standard than the national one, I say let 'em. Then we can all see how it works out for them.

Now for some irresistible quick hits.

One, hearing W talk sincerely about the need for effective strategy is like hearing Brittney Spears talk sincerely about the need for effective family values.

Two, isn't W the same guy who says that the best way to handle the abortion issue is to let each state decide what's best for its citizens? Sooooooo, if you're keeping track at home (and if you're reading this blog you probably are, heck right now I'm in my jammies), that means that according to W, the need to protect the environment demands a sound national strategy, while the need to protect unborn children specifically doesn't require a sound national strategy. And I thought Gore was the one who was over the top on Global Warming. Poor Stalin. What to do when your hero W tries to out Gore Gore. Now that's...gory (ohhhhhhh, even I'm embarrassed by that one).

Three, I was trying to find a way to work C&C Music Factory's "Things That Make You Go Hmmm" into this post. But I was honestly embarrassed by the opening verse.

I was at the crib, sittin' by the fireplace
Drinkin' cocoa on the bear skin rug.

This is a rap song mind you, and this guy is boasting about sitting by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate on a bear skin rug. And you thought Barry Manilow songs were gay.

Someone Take Away Al Gore's Belt and Shoelaces

Let the HBlog be your source for all things climate related. And let Al Gore continue to be your guide down the path of failure. You'd think you'd have to feel bad for the guy. He was the heir apparent to 8 years of peace and prosperity and still America rejected him. He started a television channel for the young and hip and found out it wasn't cool enough for anyone to watch. Then he staked what remained of his credibility on the trendy crisis of the hour and now his iceberg is melting out from under him. Poor fractured Al Gore. But there really is no need to cry because he still lives in a country where even if you fail at every turn you can still find enough dupes to make you extravagantly wealthy. So the facts may not support any of Al's hysterical poses, but being wrong isn't enough to discredit a prophet in Green America.

Global Alarming

If you've got a hysterical streak in you then most likely you have already joined the global warming crowd. You've been screaming yourself horse at rallies or lying awake at night weeping for drowning polar bears. What you haven't been doing is asking the question...does this make sense? Well, thankfully there are people in this world who don't always join the in crowd just to be liked. And now, they are speaking up about global warming.

As the article shows, there is anything but a consensus regarding the cause of global warming/climate change (sorry Al Gore). What is clear is that we are currently in a warming trend because the planet is forever heating and cooling. That's right...change is NORMAL. What should scare us is if the climate for some reason STOPPED changing. That would be unprecedented. But deserts are forever expanding and contracting, as are the ice caps and the populations of millions of species. People weren't somehow dropped onto an orb in perfect balance and then managed to knock every thing off kilter...no matter what the hysterics say.

So why are there so many shrill voices demanding we fix a problem that may not even be a problem? Or something that can be fixed? Its because we are so narcissistic. We seem to need to believe that we are in control. This can be good when it makes us responsible for things we really can control. But it makes us utterly foolish and hysterical when we run up against things beyond our control. And climate change is just that. In effect, the Chicken Littles in Bali are asking us all to stand in front of a speeding freight train and hum as loud as we can to make it stop. Their solutions are small and sad and will do nothing about the freight train. They will do much harm as they reduce standards of living all over the world (assuming anyone actually implements whatever silly plan happens to get ratified) and millions of people suffer as a result.

It takes courage to stand against the crowd. There was a time when it was even respectable. Now if you aren't part of the group think the group will try to shut you down. Well, thankfully these scientists won't let that happen no matter how hard the press tries. And thankfully the US won't support this silliness, no matter how hard Al Gore tries to shame us into being cool. Even though everyone else is doing it.