ACLU to America, "Bonk Bonk"

The parents have to sign a form before a child can be allowed to visit the local zoo with her classmates escorted by her teacher and transported in a big, yellow, happy bus. But if she wants to have an operation in another state to end a pregnancy? Well, Mr. and Mrs. America, it's none of your damn business what your daughter is up to. Huh? It's not a story that we are changing this law...the story is how we could have put up with something so twisted for so long. We are told that abortion is no different from any other surgery that removes something unwanted. And yet if a minor wants her tonsils removed mom and dad have to be informed, that seems different. Where is the outrage over this current tonsil-related oppression of our children? Where is the ACLU? Silent, because it would be asinine to argue against something so sensible. Just like it is asinine that secreting children across state lines for abortions without giving those responsible for their well being a say so was ever legal.

MyPyramid...My arse

If you find yourself concerned that those dangerous tax cuts are threatening to starve our needy government let me give you some food for encouragement. Despite all the missing funds, our government is still able to tell us how to eat. Where would you or I be without our benevolent government and its geometric simplicities? My great fear is that all this budgetary bludgeoning may lead to the canceling of the much needed How-to-Coordinate-your-Clothing Octagon or the Channel-Changing-is-Easy Mobius strip. I tremble at the thought of a citizenry untethered to the daily guidance of Washington wise men, left to fend for themselves in this cold and complicated world like so many pilgrims. But apparently, even after such drastic and horrifying cuts, there is still enough cash in the coffers to devise ever more colorful ways to treat each and every American like a complete idiot.