Open Mouth Insert Race Card

So a black man gets caught breaking into his own house. When the police respond to a report of a break in in progress the black man berates the police and creates a bizarre scene by screaming to by standers that they are witnessing the way black people get mistreated in this country. Police then arrest the man, not for breaking and entering seeing as it was his own house, but for disorderly conduct seeing as his behaviour in the face of legitimate authority was outrageous.

So this is the water our cool-headed and intellectually gifted president felt he should wade into while desperately trying to save a floundering cornerstone of his legacy. Wow. And I though he looked silly when he walked into the side of Air Force One.

Here's the story, kids. A country that just elected a black president named Obama while currently fighting two wars because of an Osama is NOT a bigoted country. Period. Barak may have been well intentioned, but he could not have bungled this worse. And the "it's so tough to be black" line is getting really old. This country is wide open and full of opportunity for anyone willing to make even the slightest effort. And I'm glad we aren't afraid to question people for breaking into homes even if they do happen to be black.

Let the "x" word sweepstakes begin

Apparently reducing adults to the level of having to say "the n-word" when referring to any discussion about "nigger" isn't quite enough. Looks like now the new way to have proper recognition as an oppressed minority is to have your own word that's so bad you can't say it. In the wake of the Don Imus scandal, Ruben Navarrette Jr. is calling for everyone to stop saying "wetback" (which, honestly I didn't think people really said that much) and replace it with "the w-word." Seems "wetback" is disrespectful (well...duh) but the much more juvenile "the w-word" is somehow more respectful. One, making adults say "w-word" is really just disrespectful to adults. Two, I don't want to burst Mr Navarrette's bubble, but "w-word" is just code for "wetback." Nothings really changed. It's like when people think saying "jeeze" when angry is OK, but "Jesus" isn't. It's all code for the same meaning, and bad is bad. Changing the code doesn't change the meanings.

But it looks like the trend will be for minorities to have their own "banned" words. The Irish can have the "d word," Native Americans the "r word" and the Chinese the "y word." But what happens when words start to overlap? I'm sure the Italians don't like "wop," but it looks like the Hispanics have dibbed the "w word." The Italians can't go with the "wo word" because it looks like they're stuttering, which is surely the "s word" for stutterers. Maybe they go with the "Italian w word" but that feels cumbersome. I guess we need to hold some sort of summit to work all this out, but if you work in an office you know that meetings surely rate the "m word." Maybe that's the fix. Everything we find offensive we just abbreviate it down to the "x word." Everyone can feel important and everyone else can feel stupid (s word?).

Look, I get that Mr Navarrette probably knows that his idea is s word, but that putting it out there gets people talking about him, and in the age of Reality TV, any talk is good talk (better to be known as a moron than not be known at all). However the problem is that some "i word" will not get this and take him seriously. Then a bad idea takes root, and it becomes all of our problem.

I'm hitting the Tar Baby

That's right I said it. And no, I'm not a racist. Deal.

US Senator, and Presidential hopeful John McCain became the latest person to use the words, "Tar Baby" in the correct context and have to apologize. Former MA Governor Mitt Romney was nailed in July 2006 for using regarding the Big Dig, and was told

Tar baby is a totally inappropriate phrase in the 21st century," said Larry Jones, a black Republican and civil rights activist. "He thinks he's presidential timber," Jones said. "But all he's shown us is arrogance."

Here's the thing. Racism and bigotry have divided this nation for generations. While things are better now than they ever, there is still work to be done. Tar Baby is an innocent word. It's also a great way to describe getting caught up in something that no matter how hard you try, it just gets worse (like this post). If you grew up in the south, you know the story of Br'er Rabbit and how Br'er Fox finally caught him by using a trap that was a person only made out of tar. You probably also know that Br'er Rabbit outsmarts Br'er Fox by begging the fox to not throw him in the brier patch, that would be worse than anything, of course the fox does, and then Br'er rabbit laughs and says he was raised in the brier patch, and hops away (I've always liked Br'er Rabbit, maybe more than even Bugs). Anyway, great story, great lesson, great memories of my Grandmother reading me the story.

Then some evil pricks decided to use "Tar Baby" in a derogatory way, in essence stealing a great story, a great lesson and great memories. The way I see it, one way to beat racism is to reclaim our words. To take back what is ours. To take back our innocence. If we continue to give the word negative meaning, the racists continue to define who we are and how we communicate. The racists continue to win. Screw that. I use Tar Baby all the time, and I've never once directed it at an African American.

Said anther way, take the word "doorknob." The word is prominently displayed at any Home Depot or Lowes in America. Nothing offensive about it. If I'm talking about a doorknob in a conversation and I say, "I need to fix my doorknob" no one gets offended. If however, I say, "Muscles for Justice isn't very smart, he's a real doorknob," then I've just offended him. But no one in their right mind would go around trying to ban the use of the word "doorknob."

I'm not sorry for using "Tar Baby," I am sorry that the word is offensive and no one is looking to render it inoffensive. It will be a small step, but when Tar Baby is uttered correctly in a sentence, and no one is offended, good will have reclaimed a small bit of land from evil.