A True Cheating Zero Policy

Lots of talk over the last few days about cheating. Tour de France leader Michael Rasmussen was just kicked out of the race, SI.com writer Michael Bamberger just posted a piece on the subject. Everyone laments "what to do?"

Long time fans of the H-Blog (Hi Ma) know that this is the place to come to for solutions. And today I present the solution for cheating. Get ready.

It's very simple. If you're caught cheating (using banned substances, corked bats, scuffed balls, whatever) you are not merely penalized or suspended, your career statistics are erased and you start from zero. No one wants to waste time wondering when you started cheating, or how often, so you just start over. Get busted for steroids and your career sack total now reads "0." Use a corked bat, your career home runs and hits..."0." You get the drift.

The reward for cheating, increased stats, increased salary, increased endorsements, records, all outweigh the penalty of getting caught. So the incentive is clearly to cheat. If Sammy Sosa, or Barry Bonds know that all their stats will go to zero if they are caught cheating, then the incentive clearly shifts to, "Not worth it." Which is where it should be.

You could even run a cheesy ad campaign "Cheating makes you a zero." I picture it as a GI Joe bit, with Scarlett and Gung Ho saying it to a group of kids, then adding "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. GI Joeeeeeeee" This is why I'm here.