That's What Chanukkah is All About, Charlie Brown

There is an irony in the Chabad of Greater Seattle's demand for the local airport to include a Menorah among its Christmas decorations that I, after 15 years in an "interfaith" relationship, am only beginning to understand: A Menorah stands alone.

A Menorah is much more than a representation of the ancient set of candles, lit with precious little oil, that Jews believe miraculously lasted eight days. Nevertheless, a Menorah lacks the religious significance that holiday displays such as those in Seattle and around the country lead too many kind-hearted people to assume means that Chauukkah matters as much to Jews as Christmas does to Christians. It ain't so, and it's a disservice not only to observant Jews and Christians, but to taxpayers regardless of faith who are paying for this multicultural clusterfuck.

Here's Channukah in a nutshell, thanks to Tracey Rich at the eminently informative Judaism 101: Channukah commemorates Jews who stood against the ruling Greeks who tried to make their rites the Jews'. Channukah is not a holiday of "Peace on Earth"; it's a celebration of defiance and independence. It's the Fourth of July--eight of 'em!

Or as Rich writes, " Chanukkah is probably one of the best known Jewish holidays, not because of any great religious significance, but because of its proximity to Christmas. Many non-Jews (and even many assimilated Jews!) think of this holiday as the Jewish Christmas, adopting many of the Christmas customs, such as elaborate gift-giving and decoration. It is bitterly ironic that this holiday, which has its roots in a revolution against assimilation and the suppression of Jewish religion, has become the most assimilated, secular holiday on [the Jewish] calendar."

Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky, the Chabad of Greater Seattle's spokesman, exacerbates this irony when he says demanding a Menorah at the airport was about "adding light to the holiday, not diminishing any light"; yet the murk is exactly where we as a nation drag ourselves when we conflate Christmas and Chanukkah into a nonsensical "the holiday" for local officials nationwide to slap together every year at the eleventh hour like a playhouse without instructions. Whatever Chanukkah and Christmas mean, is it clearly not the business of the Seattle Port Commission?

To be brutally honest, these entanglements are less "church and state" and more "Mommy, it's my brother's birthday, why don't I get a gift?"

The expedient and compassionate solution is to do what officials around the country do: Simply ignore the civic and religious principles at stake, and let everyone have a happy whatever, usually on the taxpayer's tab. After all, if your local city manager won't celebrate these holidays for you, who will?

But, Christians and Jews, if I have to render unto your Lord and your Lord what is Caesar's, can official celebrations at least be true to the spirits of your holidays, and your faiths?

Can we, for example, instead of Christmatizing Chanukkah, celebrate Rosh Hashanah?

Traditionally, Rosh Hashanah begins the Jewish year with a blast from the shofar, the ram's horn seen above. (Sadly, this was missing from our family's dinner, but, oh, the brisket!) Apples dipped in honey represent the hope for, as Rich writes, "a sweet new year." Pockets customarily are emptied of bread into flowing water to symbolize the casting away of the past year's sins. I'd love to see any of this from the people mover on the way to B terminal.

Happy Chanukkah.