The Shallow End
Meant this to be much better, but it's too nice a day. Here, borrowing from Safire, is the "Office Pool" that'll keep us 'umble and 'onest in '06:
1. U.S. troops in Iraq at 2006 year's end will number: (a) current "base line" 138,000; (b) closer to 100,000; (c) closer to 90,000; (d) 80,000 or below.
2. The Robertscalito court will: (a) in the Texas case disengage from involvement in states' redistricting; (b) go the other way in Oregon, holding that federal power to prohibit substances trumps a state's authority to permit physician-assisted suicide; (c) decide that federal funds can be denied to law schools that prohibit military recruitment on campus; (d) uphold McCain-Feingold, enabling Congress to restrict political contributions but not expenditures; (e) reassert citizens' Fourth Amendment protection from "security letters" and warrantless surveillance.
3. Stock market will: (a) slump in midsummer, causing data-dependent Fed chief Bernanke to morph into "accommodative Ben"; (b) tread water while a barrel of oil gurgles down to $50 and media "convergence" zigs while corporate "disaggregation" zags; (c) finally reflect sustained 4 percent G.D.P. growth by Dow breaking through 12,000.
4. Super Bowl champ will be: (a) Colts; (b) Pats; (c) Broncos; (d) Bengals; (e) Bucs; (f) Bears; (g) Seahawks
5. Best sequel/remake will be: (a) Miami Vice; (b) Pink Panther; (c) Pirates of the Caribbean; (d) Superman; (e) X-Men
6. Moviestar most in need of a slap will be: (a) Michael Caine; (b) Tom Cruise; (c) Robert DeNiro; (d) Mel Gibson; (e) Sean Penn
Me? 1. (b); 2. (b); 3. (c); 4. (e); 5. (d); 6. (c)
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4 comments:
Put me down thusly:
1. (b) 2. (no clue, how 'bout b) 3. (c) 4. (a) 5. (e) 6. (b)
I'm in for:
1. (c)
2. (b)
3. (b)
4. (A)
5. (d)
6. (d)
Here's why you're both wrong and I'm looking at DeNiro: because he needs such a slap it knocks him back five years, back before he sold out prestige for self-parody again and again and again-- SHARK TALE; ANALYZE THIS/ANALYZE THAT; those MEET THE Ben Stiller movies. Am I wrong? Or does THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE make it all OK?
I'm all for earning. Steve Martin, he makes CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN and PINK PANTHER. Count me out, but he did make SHOPGIRL. Forget that he also wrote the novels and the essays and makes the funny on Letterman, and he's still no DeNiro. Remember when "he's no DeNiro" wasn't a knock on DeNiro?
Cruise? Nobody's mistaking him for an actor. He's an action figure. Easy to ignore and off the list.
Mel? No more in need of a slap for putting his money and his movies where his mouth is than George "GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK" Clooney. Slap the daddy two times, but much respect for Mel for making the movie America needed, WHAT WOMEN WANT.
I'm sold. Slap DeNiro twice for me.
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