Illegal Alien

"Boy let me tell you that its no fun (its not much fun) being an illegal-eagle alien." Genesis. GENESIS RULES!!!-sorry, the 17 year old version of the blogger came out for a sec...all better now.

Now that immigration is the hot button issue of the year I'm going to have to start paying attention to it.

So where what have I learned. Well listening to the political shock-jocks (Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Hannity, etc) illegal immigrants are clearly destroying the country (I thought gay marriage was, but I guess that's so yesterday). Not only that, but
ordinary citizens are constantly bombarded with pushy, cheap working, criminally inclined. non-English speakers. Listening to some of the callers and the sympathetic shock-jocks it sounds like just walking downt the street in America is akin to walking down the barrio in Mexico City. With emotions running so high I keep waiting to wake up to a call to boycott Taco Bell, lousy Mexican fast food taking jobs away from good ol' American fast food companies. No wonder Burger Queen failed. I have to be honest, having lived in Florida, Texas and Colorado for more than thirty tres el decades I can honestly count on one hand the number of times I've run across anyone who didn't speak any English, and at least two of those fingers go to Greeks (but not the middle one-the Unknown Blogger is a known Greek). So when I hear stories of people being surrounded by all these folks who can't speak English, I have to wonder where they're standing. Or maybe, just maybe, they do speak English, but have figured out that pretending not to let's them escape having to talk to you. Believe me, I've tried that before, but pretending to speak just pig latin only takes you so far in this world.

In the spirit of fairness, I'm going to hanlde the main issues devoid of facts, with counter arguement devoid of facts.

First, some fun with math. 12 million illegal immigrants, 300 million Americans. Roughly 4%. Keep this in mind when you hear of all the damage being caused. All this hullabloo surrounding 4 in 100 people.

No speaka the Englaise. Yes, some small percentage of immigrants can't speak any English. But this is a small percentage. English is the most widely spoken language on earth, even when I travel abroad, it's rare that I find someone who doesn't speak any English-so unless countries are making the concerted effort to send us those that don't, it's safe to assume that most immigrants speak the language. Not only that, but to get around, even in a well protected sub community, you have to speak some English. However, the second generation speaks English, period. By the third generation, the first generation is now complaining that the grandkids don't speak any of the native tongue and that the culture is lost. This is no different from any non-English immigrant, legal or illegal, for the entire history of the nation. The melting pot works. Also, when people say they "constantly come acrosse people that don't speak English" think of this. If the full alotment of illegal immigrants didn't speak a lick of English, that's still only 4 in 100 people. And since we know that the illegal immigrants are not dispersed evenly, the chance of encountering anyone who doesn't speak any English is extremely remote. My bet is that a lot of these anecdotes are like when my friend told me that his cousin knew the "Hey Mikey" kid, and he was dead.

Crime. Oddly, with more than 12 million depraved illigal immigrants in the country, crime has stayed near it's hisoric low levels.

"Lousy Mexican's taking all our jobs." Just to be clear, these immigrants, who can't speak English, are taking jobs away from Americans. Apparantly the vast resevoir of wealth that is the non-speaking, non-understading, completely unskilled section of our economy is in danger! Clearly we need 500 bills at the state level this session to deal with this. PS, unemployment is near the historical lows. Here's my example. When I was growing up, before the Dukes of Hazzard came on I had to mow the lawn. I didn't know anyone who had a lawn service, and I don't think I ever saw but one Lawn Service truck, and I grew up in Florida. No one could afford it. Now, just about everyone with a lawn can afford to hire someone to mow it. The question is this, are illegal immigrants taking lawnmowing jobs from Americans? Nope. If you take away the immigrants, the cost of the service goes up, and less people can afford it, meaning less work, meaning less jobs, meaning I risk missing Dukes of Hazzard re-runs, which means I miss the hilarious hijinx of Cooter and Cleatus. Immigrants are creating their own jobs. Since they're poor, they spend nearly 100% of the deneros the earn, the economy expands and more jobs are created. Thanks Pepe. And Pepe is lonely, again what kind of job damage can be caused by 4 in 100 people.

Illegal Immigrants suck up all our services. Apparantly while being so hardworking that they will take the absolute crap jobs for almost no money, they are also so lazy that they suck up all our assistance spending. This while being terrified of being deported if they report anything. These are truley advanced people.

Education. "They're killing the education system, kick them out!" I agree, the best way to deal with people who are poor and uneducated is to keep them that way. And yes, they're the cuprits behind the failling US education system. Vote Pedro.

And one of my favorites as heard by one of the shock-jocks (I honestly don't remember which one, they all sound the same to me). Paraphrased-"If I hear one more automated prompt, you know from a bank or something, asking for English press 1, or Spanish press 2, I'm going to blah blah blah." Dude, I feel the same way. When I'm at Disney World and the monorial voice tells me to be careful in English, and then tells me to take the nino's by the hand, man that ticks me off. I don't care if they are a business making a business decision, it bugs me so they must stop. Same with Starbucks and their "vendi lattes." I think their ought to be a law making them call it a "medium milk," and if I go to Taco Bell I don't want to hear any talk of "Taco's el Grande," I want to order a "Large Mexican sandwhich."

This is America, el go-o el homo.

PS, I'll try to put together some fact for my next foray.