Money Hates Blacks

A new study conducted by sober minded economists found that "money has it in for the less fortunate". Using financial records and tax statements covering the last 75 years, economists revealed some pretty disturbing truths. While money seemed to gravitate to the affluent, at times it was shown to completely ignore the most needy. This group of neglected Americans includes a disproportionate amount of blacks. When asked why this would be so, one prominent American blogger stated, "The Mavericks just don't have a killer instinct. When you see someone who isn't as good as you, you should just kill them right away."

In an attempt to disarm extreme right wing critics who insist money has no decision making capabilities, the economists point to the disproportionate number of paper cuts received by blacks every year. Granted, there was little data to support this, but the facts speak for the themselves, "We think it's pretty clear that if money doesn't enjoy the company of blacks, it will do whatever it takes to get away...even lashing out if necessary."

Another study revealed that critical thinking hates liberals. A class action law suit has been proposed by presidential candidate John Edwards. Sen. Hillary Clinton has proposed legislation declaring any statements made by Democratic lawmakers must be considered "well-reasoned and truthful" to make up for this historical injustice