Sports Fans Moving Down Biological Ladder
They say tragedy comes in threes. This weekend we lost Dolfan Denny and Crazy Ray. Who's next? That John 3:16 guy? No, he'll be taken up bodily at the Rapture. The Rainbow Hair guy? I'm pretty sure he was beaten to death by jealous clowns in the mid 80's. Maybe it will be that guy who puts his own name on the back of his authentic team jersey in an attempt to belong to something important. Well, I don't know who it will be but everything I know about numerology says its coming. So I'm offering a free dinner with UBlo complete with your own identity-concealing head sack (we'll even put your name on the back) to the H-Blog reader who identifies Number Three in this year's Sports Fan Death Watch. Please be advised that Jimmy Carter has agreed to certify any death reported to H-Blog to verify that the dead fan was not "assisted" in any way by the Sports Fan Death Watch contestant. So let's keep it clean this year.
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My first bet is the San Diego Chicken, but he's more of a mascot. So now I'm thinking that the Hogs go together in a car crash on the way to the game.
But while he will never die, no matter how badly he wants to, my special award for "symbolic" death is the guy who shows up to the game with his girlfriend/wife and she's wearing a team jersey with the QB's name on the back. I always feel so...shamed for the poor guy. I mean, how is that EVER acceptable?
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